What happened to your therapy practice?
I was a therapist for a nearly decade before I really realized that being a traditional therapist meant having to follow a lot of rules that don’t feel right to me. I have a deep desire to bring my whole self to this work, which I could not do as a therapist. Coaching frees me to practice in the way that feels healthy, authentic, and aligned for me and the clients who are drawn to working with me.
Therapy also naturally positioned me as an authority figure in an imbalanced power dynamic. But that also doesn’t feel right to me. I don’t want to diagnose you, give you a “treatment plan,” or in any way be viewed as an authority in our work together. Because while I have expertise and experience, I’m not an expert on you. YOU are the ultimate expert on you. My role is not to diagnose, fix, or heal you, but to challenge and support you as you do your own work and grow into your best and highest self. I can more freely and authentically do this work with you from the position of coach.
What is the difference between therapy and coaching?
Traditional talk therapy is a medical model, which is why you can often use your health insurance to help pay for it. It is a service that attends to your mental health by diagnosing disorders and attempting to relieve symptoms via evidence-based modalities (including medication.) It requires practitioners to have at least a Masters degree and several years of supervision prior to earning licensure to practice independently. It is a crucial step in the healing process for many people and should not be skipped if you haven’t done this work. I have the utmost respect for therapists, and absolutely believe most people could benefit from working with a therapist at some point in their life.
Coaching, on the other hand, assumes a certain level of functioning. It presupposes you’ve done the mental health work that was needed and you’re ready for the next steps. It is present and future-focused, goal and growth-oriented. Coaching doesn’t require any special training, although it’s strongly suggested, and there is no licensure to earn. There are many different types of coaches out there, with varying degrees of expertise and experience. Always use your discernment when choosing and working with any helping professional, and trust your gut to tell you if it’s helping YOU.
What qualifies you to be a coach?
GREAT QUESTION! (Because literally anyone can call themselves a coach!)
Here is my background: I attended Coe College in Cedar Rapids, Iowa and have a degree in English Literature, with minors in Philosophy and Gender Studies. My graduate degree (MSW) is from The Brown School of Social Work at Wash U in St Louis, and I’ve maintained licensure to practice clinical social work in Missouri and Illinois for over a decade. (This = a sh*tload of Continuing Education.)
I’m trained as a civil and domestic mediator in the state of Missouri, certified to administer the MBTI®, completed level 1 Gottman training, and I’m attuned to Reiki II. Oh, and I’m a professional singer. (You’re welcome to come check me out sometime!)
I also wrote and published a whole book about relationships, based on my own hard-won learnings as well as those of hundreds of clients. I have very strong opinions about healthy relationships and the fact that we all deserve to have them! As such, I developed and teach classes about conflict resolution, healthy communication, and boundaries. I also deliver keynotes, compile executive 360º reports, do leadership coaching, and facilitate workshops on antiracist practices and how to be a not-shitty white person.
I’m also a mom who came (somewhat begrudgingly) to parenthood at age 37, so I understand the struggle that parenting can be and also the joy it offers. I’ve been married and divorced and married again, so I understand the pain of broken relationships and the hope that blooms after a loss. I’ve dated a lot, including people of all genders and backgrounds, spent money I didn’t have, stayed too long in jobs I hated, and generally made a lot of mistakes. I paid a sh*tload of tuition to Life University. I have, as they say, been there and done that. Between my education, professional experience, and lived experiences, I am confident in my qualifications.
HOWEVER, you should certainly determine for yourself whether I’m qualified for what YOU need (and a healthy skepticism of “life coaching” is welcome.)
Why don’t you offer a free consultation?
The short answer is: it would cost me a ton of business. For the right client, I am very good at this work. People often feel significantly better after one session. (What’s cool about this is that then the next time something comes up, they know they can come to me for help. It creates an ongoing “as needed” relationship that many people find comforting.)
So you can see that giving away that first session – even an abridged version- would be a terrible business plan for me. The providers who are giving this away aren’t doing anything wrong, they just practice differently than I do. Coaches or therapists who give a large amount of time free upfront clearly assume there will be ongoing appointments coming out of it. I do not, although there might be and that’s cool too.
More simply, though, I prefer to be paid for my time and expertise when I dispense it. It helps me to stay in alignment and excited about the work, and it helps you to feel invested in what you’ve paid for.
How often and for how long am I supposed to keep seeing you?
That is your call. My approach is direct, practical, and results-oriented, and I never assume you will need a certain number of sessions with me. My goal is to get you feeling better ASAP, not keep you paying me every week. I assume that the more people I help, the more people they’ll tell about it and the more business I’ll have. You are always free to come and go as is right for you.
That said, many people prefer to come once or twice a month (or even weekly) while they’re working on making big life changes. If you plan to do that, I’d suggest saving some money and purchasing a 6-session or 12-session package. Occasional acute problem-solving sessions are also common.
Okay, so I scheduled my first session with you; now what happens?
If it’s a virtual session, you will receive a link for the session in your appointment confirmation email and you’ll just hop on when it’s time! (Make sure you know how to use Zoom and that you have a solid internet connection.)
If it’s an in-person session, I’ll send you info via email about my office location and you can just show up 5 minutes before the session time. Don’t come any earlier though because current protocol is you wait in your car and text me when you’ve arrived. I don’t have a waiting room set up yet and probably won’t until Covid is entirely a thing of the past.
For all new clients, I will also send you paperwork sometime before your session; it’s brief and includes basic demographic info and a contract/informed consent form for working together. I never require any payments beyond the next session upfront unless you’re buying a package, and I don’t keep cards on file. Your information is all confidential.
What is your cancellation policy?
Up to 24 hours before your scheduled time, you are welcome to reschedule as needed. There’s an option to reschedule in the confirmation email you receive from Calendly and it doesn’t bother me if you use it. Note: if you choose “cancel” and it’s more than 24 hours before your scheduled time, you’ll need to follow up with me to request a refund; it doesn’t automatically refund. I can also hold your payment for a while if you do want to reschedule but don’t know when yet.If you cancel or reschedule less than 24 hours before your scheduled time, or you miss your appointment, you forfeit the payment you made and will need to rebook. I have this policy so that I don’t have any feelings when people miss appointments. I’m not mad at you and you don’t have to feel badly. You paid for my time; I’m good. (That said, obviously there are exceptions and emergencies. I’m not unreasonable!)